Valerie Lykkemark
Death Doula
As an outdoor adventurist, I have spent countless days navigating rivers in Northern BC and Yukon. Mother Nature is who I turn to for spiritual guidance and connection to my true essence. I often wonder, “Where does the river end? Does it merge into another river, flow into the ocean, settle in a marsh, seep underground or dissipate into the air?” While I don't know what happens after death, wilderness immersion has taught me to identify my values, make choices for the experience I desire, prepare for the journey, and be present to go with the flow.
As a death doula I accompany a dying person, and their circle of support, through a personal, intentional and conscious dying process. As a non-medical companion, I witness and hold space for exploring the physical, emotional and spiritual environment that may ease the transition of death and bring meaning to the end of life. Like a river, I flow to where the support is needed, find eddies to create space for rest and contemplation, provide advocacy to run the rapids of turmoil and hold space for emotions to support the dying person to float down the river with an open heart. For the living, I facilitate end of life planning and educational opportunities to guide people to contemplate and embrace their own death.
How my Death Doula journey began.
Supporting my father through his dying process was a scary experience. The burden of navigating the healthcare system and making decisions about his medical options left me feeling overwhelmed and uncertain. I knew what he valued in life, but we never talked about how he wanted to die. Death was never discussed in our household. The confusion of having five siblings living across the country, combined with my lack of knowledge about the dying process, were things I wish I had known more about. Navigating this difficult transition led me to a path of discovery, to learn more about how to die well and reduce my fear of talking about death.
After transitioning from a long-standing career with the Canadian Cancer Society and serving as the Education Coordinator with the BC Hospice Palliative Care Association, I completed the End-of-Life Doula program at Douglas College. As an active member of the Victoria Holistic Death Care Community, I continue to deepen my knowledge in death education and contribute to the community as an Inpatient Unit Support Volunteer at Victoria Hospice.
Now, I am comfortable saying the "D" words – Death, Dying, Dead. I talk about them with friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers. So far, it hasn't killed me. Ironically, pondering death only makes me live a fuller life today, aligned with my values and the people I love.
Education & Experience
2005
Brahmanda Yoga School, Yoga Instructor Certification
2005-2020
Canadian Cancer Society, Support Program Coordinator
2020
Douglas College, End of Life Doula Certificate
2021-2023
BC Hospice Palliative Care Association, Education Coordinator
2021-2023
Victoria Holistic Death Care Community, Leadership Team
2023-2025
Victoria Hospice, In Patient Support Volunteer
Kind Words
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"I reached out to Valerie further along on my grief journey after the loss of two important people in my life. Who was I now without a spouse in my life? What would it look like? Valerie was able to help me gain insight into myself and work with my grief, my fear so that I could move forward with a sense of purpose and possibility, having tools in hand to utilize when I need them. I highly recommend Rivers End Death Doula services for anyone who is on a grief journey, whether it be the individual facing an end-of-life illness or family/friends who walk alongside that person on the pathway." Monica M.
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"Valerie navigated the health care system to find the free extra help my mother needed to stay where she was living. Her focus was maintaining my mother's dignity while making sure she was safe, comfortable and cared for. Valerie's open and honest communications, with my whole family, helped reduce a lot of our stress. We will be sure to contact RiversEnd to help plan Mom's Celebration of Life, when the time comes." Donna L.
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"I was so nervous before I reached out to Valerie. Her ability to listen to my needs and empower me to talk about my dying process made me feel at ease." Sharon H.
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“Valerie helped me explore my fears about dying. She guided me through a process that allowed me to explore death in a way that motivated me to live my best life now.” Jennifer G.
